Relax, Inhabit, Stay, Resolve, Remain
Those five words are synonyms of Settle. I was in bed ready to go to sleep and thinking about water settling. About sand settling. Then I was drawn to a common term that people use when they are apparently finished adventuring or discovering. They settle.
They Relax. They Inhabit. They Stay. They Resolve. They REMAIN.
I hear a lot of single folk describe their experimental, self-discovery years as adventurous, as spontaneous, as lively, as impulsive, as instinctive, as FREE.
Then I hear these same people approach marriage and use the phrase “it’s time to settle down”.
I find it interesting how we’ve taken a word, whose synonyms (in my eyes) are something so sedentary and not progressive, and attribute them to something so weighty, so requiring of sacrifice/compromise/learning/commitment/and dedication, as marriage.
I vow to anyone ever reading this that I never want to settle down with Tammy, my awesome beautiful intelligent and altruistic wife. I want adventurous, I want spontaneous, I want lively, I want impulsive, I definitely want instinctive, and I ABSOLUTELY want FREE!
How could I characterize the thing that society tells me is the biggest commitment I’d make as “resolved”. We get one shot at life here on earth as we know it, so why get to a point where we’re content? And I’m not just talking travel, though the pictures speak that way. I’m talking about trying new foods, trying new hobbies, getting into that thing you always wanted to but never made time for because your too busy getting ready for that next all-important stage in life.
I’m not nay-saying planning, the comforts of stability, and the proximity to family and friends. No, those things are fantastic and are indeed some of the things I miss the most while living overseas. But knowing that eventually we’ll make our way back to some semblance of Western society, I so desperately don’t want our lives to be characterized or dictated by our careers, instead more so about our relationships and our adventures. Sounds a lot more exciting than the former right?
Call me naïve, I’m not bothered. I’d rather be naïve and exploratory than focused and rigorous in plans, but sedentary.